Category Archives: My Adventures

Anything related to surfing, biking, running and the rest

The misadventures of Accused Number 1, Number 2 and Number 3…

03 Saturday Feb 2018

Posted by in Family and Friends, Funny, General, My Adventures

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So I had the coolest experience at the Cape Town High Court. I found myself at the High Court because one of my BFFs was admitted to the bar as an attorney!!! Whoop whoop 🙌🏾👏🏾💃🏾🎉🎊🤸🏾‍♀️🏆 Well freaking done Melissa Suzanne Baker!

She graciously allowed me to share that very happy, somewhat emotional and extremely proud experience with her… but not in a stock standard way, as is typical Bronwyn.

So the morning started with breakfast around the corner from High Court and about an hour before the admission procedure, the group of us (Mel, family and friends) pickled off to the High Court building to witness the admission. The High Court building consists of several courtrooms.

 

To our surprise (maybe not) Courtroom 1, where Mel was to be admitted was packed to capacity – so besides Mel, we couldn’t all go in. After standing outside for a bit Roberto, another friend and I decided since we can’t see the admission and we were at High Court, we might as well do a bit of exploring…

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Packed balcony outside the courtroom. No way to get in….what to do, what to do.?.. AH HA, Let’s find the divorce court!

Picture taken from foyer with view of balcony outside Courtroom 1

 

The building itself was like a maze to us, as we pretty much peered into every room, nook and cranny that we could, looking for a courtroom where something intriguing was happening.

 

Roberto and I figured that finding the divorce court in High Court would probably be cool thing, because at least you know if you meet someone there, you definitely know they’re single! And you don’t have to pay an online dating service for those introductions 🤓. We so smart! So off we missioned to find the divorce court.

 

Wonder what’s behind this door?
Stairs to holding cells?

And so we accidentally meandered into Judge’s chambers and small rooms that looked like meeting rooms, until we finally found a courtroom where it looked like something interesting was taking place. Not knowing where we were or what exactly we were doing we sat down in some benches. There were attorneys and other people around us. They first looked amused at the sight of us but then they pretty much ignored us. After a few minutes we peered around and discovered a short staircase right behind our seats leading from what we could only assume were the holding cells at the court! There we sat, Accused number 1, 2 and 3…

For 30 seconds we pondered going downstairs to check it out, but then we remembered our gangster-speak wasn’t actually that good, and we weren’t quite sure what we’d say to Aggies and Ougat if we met up with them down there. So we abandoned that idea and decided to go in search of the divorce court again. Instead, we found the civil courtroom and watched a few interesting matters then decided was time to go again.

We thought about perhaps trying to find another courtroom but it worked out that our timing was perfect because as we got to the foyer area again we met up with the rest of our party who actually made it into the courtroom with Melissa. And there too was Melissa, our friend… the newly admitted attorney. And so of course it was time to head outside for photos.

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Not too shabby for a Friday morning adventure me thinks 😊. But now tis time for my minion weekend for this year.

Embrace uncertainty

26 Friday Jan 2018

Posted by in General, My Adventures, Touchy-Feely Crap

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So the gears of 2018 have started turning…

The past few days I started revving, rocking and getting back into action. Thinking about what lies ahead this year reminded me of a thought I had a few months ago – embracing uncertainty. Embracing uncertainty in 2018 means allowing myself to feel intrigued by, even curious about the unknown. Yet every time I think of the ‘unknown’ tis human nature to instinctively feel fear…no?

Moments of fear and sadness cannot be cured or defeated. They can only be transformed by learning to love and support yourself when they arrive” – Sarah Blondin (Live Awake 2017)

Fear has a purpose. What is it that my fear is trying to tell me? It has a message for me. Every time that I stopped trying to run away from it, or stop pushing it away from me and actually let it in to determine it’s message for me, then fear releases its tight grip on me, and my life becomes more pleasurable indeed.img_4948

In 2018 I will embody my fear, free my spirit, look up, step forward, move ahead …believe, breathe, believe, dance, cry, laugh and love….. C’est la vie. Let’s just frikkin do this.

Kachow!!!

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The value of ‘presence’

21 Sunday Jan 2018

Posted by in Family and Friends, General, My Adventures

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Villa Paradisa

And so this above is the only picture I have of an amazing weekend spent with some new and extremely interesting friends on the West Coast.

The weekend was different for a couple of reasons. For starters it was a meat free, and mostly preservative free weekend… kind of. In total we were 10 people, of which 3 were vegetarian, 2 pescetarian, and 3 others weren’t vegan, vegetarian or pescetarian, but did not eat anything with preservatives or added sugar. That made the weekend menu very interesting. We all helped with the cooking, and I’m thrilled to share that we had the most delicious predominantly plant based meals that were tremendous fun to prepare.

The other difference was it was really chilled in strange way, considering we don’t know each other that well. I guess I expected some anxiety since I didn’t know them well, but to my surprise, everyone was super relaxed and friendly (happy?). I think it’s because everyone that was there, was self assured and just confident in their own skin. Silly things to illustrate my point…. after an amazing dinner and socialising on both nights, everyone went to bed by about 11pm. Despite there being loads of alcohol (and vegetarian food) available, overindulging just wasn’t something that appealed much to anyone. Over the weekend I went for two longish runs and my friends did various things including cycling, kite-surfing, sculpting (one posed and one sculpted), a few of us read a bit, listened to music, had stimulating conversation while we prepared food and at times we just all chilled on the beach. And during the entire weekend no one bothered to watch tv.

The culmination of this translated into the most significant difference, the outstanding feature about this weekend….To me is feels that everyone there was present. And that was seriously cool.

It truly was different to any other weekend I’ve been on before. We didn’t take pictures. No one bothered to ask anyone else to take selfies with them. No one posted on FB or Insta or anywhere else that I know of. It’s not because the weekend wasn’t fun – it’s because we were all fully engaged in the weekend. On Saturday I realised that there wasn’t a single person that seemed to be preoccupied with their smart phones. Smart phones all lay on a pile on one of the tables while we sat outside sharing pita and talking about that various activities that everyone got up to that day.

Every time I caught myself thinking about the past, or the future (besides a few very practical things that needed my attention), I gently acknowledged and then dismissed those thoughts. I don’t know for sure, but I surely am inclined to believe that this thing, this new experience to me, aka living in the present is the source of true contentment and happiness.

Anyway who knows….. but lets try this Bronwyn why not!

Simple Comforts

17 Wednesday Jan 2018

Posted by in Funny, General, My Adventures

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1. Making a huge pot of popcorn, after coming home from a run and eating it all while watching a movie

2. Watching an old’ish movie you intended to see ages ago when it was on circuit… but you missed it. So you stream it #iTunesRocks

3. Listening to Ed Sheeran #CutieWithAmazingVoice

4. Devil’s Peak First Light

5. Burning rose or geranium scented incense for no particular reason …just because you are beautiful and life is good.

6. Watching your children interact with their friends #Priceless

7. Giving yourself ‘off’ from working on a particular night even though you didn’t finish those impossible goals you said you would that day. YOLO… life is more than just work!

8. Having a Din Din club to send drunk texts to. …. not like that I send drunk texts like sometimes… like ever (or blog when drunk 🤞🏾) 🤦🏾‍♀️😱…. much.

9. Insight Timer to lull you to sleep.

10. Drinking gin, beautiful gin in the dark, taking selfies and laughing at yourself for being an idiot.

I am an addict

12 Friday Jan 2018

Posted by in Family and Friends, General, My Adventures

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I shouldn’t have ignored the warning sign. But I did. I didn’t know better.

I’m addicted to tobacco – cigarette smoking specifically. My plan is to never smoke another fag again in my life. But just like alcoholics stay alcoholics for the rest of their lives – despite never touching an alcoholic drink again, someone like me will be a smoker for the rest of my life, ….I just won’t, never want to smoke again.

Started at age 14, because I wanted to be cool. Stopped briefly each time I was pregnant and breastfeeding – But I knew each time, when I stopped breastfeeding I’d restart the habit. A Long Time Ago I realized how bad smoking is for me. Because of that, I distinctly recall three occasions when I quit briefly. After each of those occasions, something very significant and traumatic happened in my life (e.g. getting divorced) and I relapsed. For some addicts, ‘that thing’ that you’re addicted to, whether it be smoking, drugs, alcohol or even sex/pornography represents a comfort mechanism. After the initial trigger that started the habit, your brain begins to associate your habit with ‘reward…. relaxation…. and ultimately comfort’ and then you’re addicted.

The fourth and longest time that I quit smoking for was from 2014 till 2017. I firmly believed that it was for good that time, plus I had the best reason and motivation ever to quit cold turkey – a cancer scare!

So when I experienced an insatiable craving that physically debilitated me in late December 2016 and early January last year, that should have been a big red glaring blaring blinking sign for me! A malfunction was in the process of happening…

Tonight on someone else’s blog I read the most eloquent explanation for this. John Cheese (I kid you not….. that’s truly the guy’s name! tough break uh) is a recovering addict too and explains how his body felt like it was screaming in pain. Your body tells you that you need this now. Your body convinces you, but it’s actually not your body – it’s your brain. John clarifies “it’s the broken cog in the brain — the mechanism that makes an addict“. There’s a pretty awesome TED talk I found that put ‘addiction‘ into perspective for me : https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong/discussion?language=en

Post 2017’s introspection and self discovery, knowing myself the way I do now, if it happened now, I would have recognized that sign (the insane craving) signified that I was in very serious trouble with some aspect/s in my life. And I was…. before the trouble even properly surfaced in my life, I started feeling its presence. It was something I wasn’t equipped to deal with.

Because I didn’t consider myself an addict at the time, I did not recognize what actually was truly the most beautiful warning sign. I humbly and sincerely am in awe of how amazing our human intuition is, if only we would listen to it. So I relapsed again.

Anyway, I battled during last year – smoking on and off, feeling guilty, quitting, then feeling sad/lonely/scared and restarting when things felt overwhelming again. Like a yo-yo on steroids. Until I decided to just flipping quit quitting darn it! I’ll spare details and get to the bottom line. For the first time ever in my life I currently feel absolutely no pressure from anywhere and anyone (including myself) to quit smoking.

Thus I’ve decided it’s time to quit. Cold turkey again. Not for money, and not because I have pre-cancer again, not for my family or for other health reasons, and certainly not for any person either. I was completely off-guard today when the thought entered my brain. In-between the thought of “what’s for dinner” and “when must my car must go in for a service?”, I had the most random thought…. “the time is right to quit smoking“.

So I am Bronwyn and I am addicted to smoking. I am an addict. I’ll never escape the consequences of my addiction if I don’t admit that.

So Yes I am, but I’m a nonconformist too so I will just not smoke. And after my withdrawal symptom period is over, if I feel that craving again as strong as it was at the beginning of last year, then I’ll see it for exactly what it actually is next time. This time I’ll face the whatever fear or issue that ‘craving’ is drawing my attention to. And I’ll deal with the real problem next time.

In retrospect

30 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by in Family and Friends, General, My Adventures

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Goodbye 2017. Thank you for the happy times, special memories with friends and family but thank you for the challenges too. I am not sad to see you go, but I am very grateful that I am not the same person I was when I met you.

Most of all, thank you coercing me to get to know myself better, your most valuable lesson for me…C15B9623-4ABA-47D8-954B-0DC5D76DF040

I shall not forget.

So Hello and Welcome 2018, Let’s be friends

To my other friends, have a fun but safe NYE everyone…

See you all in 2018

Tis the season… for removing tattoos?

23 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by in Funny, General, My Adventures

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Yeah so some of you smart peeps knew exactly what that previous post was about 🙂

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Yes indeed, it is a true reflection of my feelings, an open love letter to me, from me. So it may be good news for some, and more than probably scary news for others, but applications are still open!

If anyone is interested and more importantly, only if they believe they meet the application criteria, please do complete and application form below and email it to me by the 15th January.

 

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So on that festive note, feeling the overwhelming love in the air, tis the season for that after-all …it’s time for me to start prepping. The prep started yesterday already actually, when I defrosted the meat. Following a self-instituted tradition, I make “party packs” for that very special birthday we’re celebrating on Monday. It’s been a pretty cool happy ‘working’ holiday so far. Looking forward to the next few days spending time with friends and family. Will blog about some of the adventures we’ve been having as time allows in the new year.

The main subject of this blog however is the progress of my tattoo removal … ouch!

So, shortly after I discovered I was getting divorced I decided to get myself inked. A word of advice I can now share with anyone considering getting a tattoo is: Carefully select your tattoo artist. I say again: Carefully select your tattoo artist. I didn’t. Impulsively (as is my nature), I stomped into a pretty upmarket tattoo parlour (thinking the price I was paying would be an indicator of the quality of tattoo – NOT!), consulted on a design and then proceeded with having it done. Everything else was perfect – the person who consulted, a clean sterile environment – even their card machine worked fine! The big problem was the actual tattoo artist who did the work, was also going through a divorce. I casually mentioned that a divorce was the trigger for me wanting a tattoo. Unbeknown to me before the mention, was because of the mention, he felt the need to share his own horror divorce story as me as he worked. The result: An out-and-out “tronk tjappie“.

I paraded this thing for about 7 years before deciding bugger this, it’s seriously time to get it redone. Thing is though, I love my tattoo, what it means to me. The design is perfect – so I certainly didn’t want to change that, I only wanted to get it fixed. But it was just so badly done, the only way to get it fixed was to have most of the inked removed via laser treatment, then only have it redone. It was supposed to be a beautiful butterfly with the words “God Saves” except it looked like the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland smoking weed. After 6 laser treatments over a period of two years to date, see the before and after pics below. The last treatment was on Wednesday, so in the second picture (on the right), you can still see the site is slightly inflamed and I have a small blister… but it’s nothing as bad to what it looked after the first few treatments.

Before laser treatment
After the 6th laser treatment

So another word of advice I can share is when you have a tattoo removed (or lightened because you want it redone, as I did), also: Carefully consider who does laser treatment for you. Again I thought I was doing the right thing by going to a specialist, a laser clinic that did laser treatments for cosmetic reasons. The problem was they didn’t specialise in tattoo removal per say, so the initial treatment was firstly too harsh (setting too high) and secondly they gave me some sort of clear bandage to put over it to protect the site. When I left the treatment rooms all looked and seemed fine, but a few days later when I had to remove the bandage I realised what a bad idea that was. Upon removal, it removed some of my skin too!

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The laser treatment itself is much more painful than getting inked. Getting inked, in my opinion felt like my skin being pinched a bit. It wasn’t painless, but it certainly wasn’t excruciating like laser treatment.

Laser treatment feels 10 times more painful,  a hot stabbing unrelenting needle.  Of course, you can’t move while it’s being done. When the lady offered me a pillow to clutch before she began, I remember thinking to myself “It can’t be that bad…can it?”  Yes my peeps it’s that bad! And I’ve told by health professionals that I have a high threshold for pain. I was 6cm dilated before I realised I was in labour about to give birth. This pain doesn’t compare to labour pains – it’s far worse! Another observation I have on laser treatment is a white frosting seems to form on the skin initially immediately after treatment. This is normal. When I did some research the best explanation I found is it’s a chemical reaction because of the ink in the skin and as a result of air that gets stuck under the skin.

Anyway, the time came to remove the plaster after that first treatment and then this is what it looked likeIMG_4131. Pretty raw and ugly and it was sore! You can see from the pic where patches of skin came off with the plaster. The recommended time in-between laser treatments is 6 weeks but I waited 8 weeks before approaching a different place to do the next treatment. In that recovery time the skin on top seemed to form scabs (I’m not sure how much of it was scab and how much of it was ink). The scabs fell off about 2 weeks later.

After scabs fell off

It started looking normal-ish again about 8 weeks later and I decided to do to a tattoo artist with a laser treatment service. There they confirmed my skin had actually gotten hurt, but the laser therapist at No Regrets Tattoo Parlour explained the prognosis wasn’t all bad. The skin could heal itself if I just continued to treat it properly. She encouraged me to rub it frequently to encourage blood circulation in the area. She conceded I already had scar tissue explaining the skin naturally thickens if it’s gotten hurt. But consoled me with saying if I frequently stimulated that area with rubbing it the skin wouldn’t become hard and thick after successive treatments.  Although rubbing was uncomfortable, it’s the best way for the skin to heal.

I highly recommend No Regrets to everyone wanting to get inked or getting inked removed. Be that as it may, then next few treatments were similarly painful, but because the skin wasn’t covered with a plaster, blisters formed. No plaster did however mean I had to pay more attention to keeping the area clean but more important for me is it also means my skin wasn’t unnaturally torn when the plaster had to come off. Here are some pics of the next 3 treatments.

Pretty yuck sight uh. As you can see, blistering was pretty hectic initially, but with each subsequent treatment the blistering afterwards wasn’t quite as bad.  IMG_4168 Also initially after treatment my ankle was swollen and inflamed – I guess one can equate it to intense sunburn? It was really difficult to sleep at night with that pain and for the first night or two I used to take pain killers. Another thing I discovered was Aloe Vera gel. That stuff is amazing – immediately soothes the burning sensation so in the first few days after treatment I regularly periodically and generously reapplied it as frequently as I could. Got some at Clicks for R100 and haven’t had to buy another even though I’ve just finished my 6th treatment. The expiry date is April 2018 – so hopefully all laser treatments will be done with this by then.

Treating the skin in-between treatments after blistering has dissipated also entails using a product. I used a combination of Bio-Oil tissue oil and a tattoo aftercare balm that I bought from No Regrets which also cost me about R100. The effort it takes to keep rubbing the tattoo to prevent scar tissue forming however far outweighs the price I’ve paid for any products.

So gradually my tattoo got lighter. Looked like a smudge more than anything else, by June this year – I had stopped treatment for just over a year before I started again. Now, I can see (evident in the very first after-treatment picture above) the ink is almost completely gone. I have some scarring and some hyperpigmentation (dark colouration of the skin because of the scarring) but I’ll keep on treating that with Bio-Oil for a bit longer before I get inked again.

IMG_8254I think new ink will probably only happen mid next year or even later next year. I’m not in a rush though. I realise it’s much better to wait patiently for something you really want and get whatever it is that you actually desire, rather than rush and get something that you not happy with and have to re-do in any case! – which coincidentally is a very similar message to my other tattoo…

Will definitely post pics of my new ink next year once I have it done.

 

Sometimes…

28 Tuesday Nov 2017

Posted by in General, My Adventures, Purely Academic

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Sometimes I get scared.

This scared that I’m referring to is a unique kind of scared. Not unique to me but certainly not the same kinda scared as that kind when you eat seafood at an unknown restaurant, or the scared you feel just before you jump off Lion’s Head to start paragliding.

It’s the kinda scared when you feel excited but extremely fearful at the same time. Because it’s the “I’m growing” kinda scared. I can equate this scared to the feeling when I discovered I was going to be a mother the first time, or the time I left my permanent job and decided to be my own boss. With both those experiences I was frightened so badly that it felt as if my sphincter muscles went into spasm, causing the bowels to release with the result of me soiling my pants (that’s euphemism for a word we all know). I was scared shishless.

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So that’s how I sometimes feel now when I think about where I am on my journey. Not regretful, not remorseful. Feeling a little brave, sometimes a bit worn, tired and lonely but still strong enough. Feeling a bit small, but not insignificant. I need to grow.

These thoughts came about because of the work I’m doing on my PhD – this blog is mainly about my PhD journey after all. But a PhD doesn’t happen in isolation from the rest of one’s life. Besides the PhD, Life is a christmas trifle of events, experiences and feelings. And this is where things get muddy and confusicating in my head.

Fact – the PhD is merely a tool for me to serve a purpose. Like the work I have and do, also only a tool for me to serve a purpose. Or the friendships and relationships that I have – a tool. Even my role as a mother – simply just a tool. I get confused between these tools and my true purpose. My true purpose is to love.

When I give myself enough space, then I remember it’s all about balance. My purpose is my foundation and as I go along building my castle, I sometimes forget about my purpose. I build walls and structures that I either knock down some time later, or they were so structurally unsound that they collapse by themselves some time later anyway.

If I am too focused on the PhD, then I forget about my journey. My splendid beautiful journey, this adventure I am on, called Life. And then there are the times I forget about my purpose – because I am too taken in by Life and the wonderous distractions it has to offer. That’s when this “scared” has an important function. It serves as a reminder for me balance it out. Stop, breath, reconnect the dots and realign.

When I’m feeling that kind of scared, if I go quiet then I hear the little voice inside of me telling me that I can do it. Urging me on. I was created for my purpose – so I have everything that I need, no matter how high or daunting the mountain before me seems.

My mountain at this moment is this model I’m creating for the South African pharmaceutical industry – like for the country. Yah it’s all relative, so to some people that’s like meh whatever, it’s only big in Bronwyn’s mind. We all have our own perspective. To me it’s responsibility, and it is potential. It can be huge. It can be brilliant. And I’m the one in charge.

So I’m scared. I know what I must do. I feel it, but fear grips at my heart. But I’m embracing this scared. I am embracing the uncertainty of what I see and what logic based on facts and probabilities dictates to me. It’s time for me to ignore that. It’s time for me to trust my internal GPS again. True story, it never lets me down.