I haven’t blogged in like forever. There is like so much that has happened – at times, I thought about blogging – but just trying to find the words to say what I am feeling felt overwhelming, and in a weird kind of a way; I feel that as I am getting older, I am slightly more private?

Is this even a thing?

I’ve had my nose to the ground (nose to the grindstone?). My entire focus has been my work. It’s not a secret that I am chasing a professorship. And also no secret that I have practically (literally) been consumed by this. I run less because I work more. I hardly watch TV, haven’t been to the movies in months, and almost never go out with friends. The only thing that I haven’t sacrificed is my family. I’ve prioritized them. But even then, it is a struggle for me.

I have a very close relationship with my family – even more so, as expected, I am very close to my children. However Josh and Micaiah are more grown up (more on the “grown-up” side now) – most of the time doing their own thing. So when we go away as an extended family, there was a little part of me that feels frustrated because I have to pull myself away from work. I don’t move into “relax mode” very easily. In fact, I don’t do it naturally. The only thing, or rather person, that grounds me (and I mean no disrespect to any of my other family members), is Bailey. Spending time with Bailey that is. Bailey forces me to be present. And he is growing up so quickly. When I am with him, the rest of the world disappears. When I am with him, I prioritize him.

And I feel guilty saying this. I don’t think it’s the way I should live my life. For now though I accept that it is, what it is. I am doing what I am doing to secure a better life for Josh and Micaiah, and my family understand that? My friends too… doesn’t everyone feel this way? At the same time I find myself in this weird, competitive environment at work, and I am scared that if I don’t keep up, I am going to be left behind. And at the end of the day, I am working for a better life for us all, no? If I am in a stronger financial position

As I am writing this it really sounds ridiculous – left behind how Bronwyn?

Working myself to a standstill virtually – so that I become a professor for better prospects for Josh and Micaiah… Wait let me say that again, I am working myself to standstill to become a professor for better prospects for Josh and Micaiah. Does that even make sense?

It feels like I’m dancing on a line of insanity. It seems insane. Will it stop if I am given a professorship? A recent conversation I had with two people who know me well suggested not. They said, because of my personality I’ll keep going?

It’s not sustainable.

And here’s the kicker, my relationship with my friends and business partners has become distant, and things have literally fallen by the wayside. In fact one of my business partners has now requested to leave our business. A similar thing happened with my two closest friends – one of them pulled out of the group.

It’s nothing directly to do with what I am doing. Had I been more present, I am not sure if there would have been anything that I could have done to stop it – Maybe – maybe not. As I drove to work today, I was thinking about it. I see my role, the choices I’ve made. What I am deciding to sacrifice. I can’t undo the past. Is it worth it for me? Hhmmmmm, if I had the chance to do it over again, maybe slightly different but I think I would still prioritize what I have prioritized. I have my goal in sight.

My goal still feels like a good goal for me. So I’m just pausing briefly to look around me. I’m looking at what is happening. And deciding, to let go and let come. In memory of Bespoke and the Din-dins. I have to trust the journey.

I would be an absolute toss if I do not say that I stand with the Palestinians. I really do believe that the world is so big – I’m only one of 8 billion and for the most part, the nobody in the world really cares, or needs my opinion. There are however a very few times in a person’s life where you see or hear something, and it really is your responsibility to pick a side. One simply cannot be silent when the level of destruction is as it is in the Middle East at the moment. We, humanity, needs to speak out for the sake of humanity.

It’s not such a complex issue….

The killing of any civilians (Israeli, Palestinians, South Africans, Ukrainian, Russian, British, you name it) is wrong – that’s simple.

Violating and denying basic human rights, food, water, electricity, health care is wrong – that’s simple.

Apartheid is wrong – oppressive discrimination on the basis of race or religion, sexual orientation or some other aspect of a person’s identity is wrong – that’s simple.

I do not condone or approve of Hamas attacks on civilians, just as much as I don’t condone the Israeli attacks. At the same time, I don’t need a PhD to see how the Israeli government has provoked Hamas. In my humble opinion, their actions are responsible, they’ve created the most fertile breeding ground for Hamas extremists – simple and unsurprising too.

Bottom line is, if history in South Africa has taught the world anything, let it be this – “Apartheid will ALWAYS fuel resistance”. It’s difficult to grasp how anyone can be surprised, when even the most gentle person turns around one day and and says that’s enough, after being provoked for more than a half a century.

I personally only experienced about 10 years of apartheid (that I can remember) and I was ready to join MK. ( Side note – My generation just-just missed being immersed in the ‘struggle’. My parents sent me to a private catholic school outside the coloured township. I believe (was told) partly to shield me from being exposed to the resistance . However, if Nelson Mandela wasn’t released when he was, my generation would have felt more compelled to join the struggle – been more active in the resistance struggle. How can one not struggle against being a second class citizen in your own country.

I vividly recall a profound conversation I had with my mom a few years ago. She said that if it had not been for international pressure put on the ‘then apartheid’ South African government to stop their atrocities, my family and I would still be second class citizens – in the country of our birth.

To my international friends, you didn’t know us personally but you defended our rights. I say thank you 🙏🏾❤️

To the rest of the world, it’s our turn to do the same for the majority of Palestinians who are completely innocent. To Israel – stop oppressing the Palestinians. The bloodshed must stop. Enough is enough. I don’t support you. I raise my flag with Palestine 🇵🇸🇿🇦

Thank you Monique, Bailey and Jase… Road flooding meant it was quite an adventure getting to our destination on Monday. We unexpectedly stayed over in Gansbaai. Regardless, we had the bestest time. But of course it’s always the bestest time, when you have the bestest Femiliyum ❤️❤️❤️

Hello friends. Tonight I thought I’d share a little about my braumeister journey – From Chemo Distraction to Kombucha Queen 👸🏾

This past year, I picked up an interesting hobby – kombucha brewing! This newfound hobby not only served as a delightful distraction during my chemo journey but also opened doors to a world of experimentation and health benefits. And I thought tonight I’d share a little chronicle – a bit of my experiences, insights about making kombucha with the perfect amount of sweetness and tang – for me that is…

Before I started jabbering away on how to make kombucha, let me first explain what I think kombucha is.

It’s a fermented tea beverage that has been consumed for centuries due to its potential health benefits and unique taste. To make kombucha, a sweetened tea is brewed and then fermented with the help of a symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast (SCOBY). The SCOBY, often referred to as the “mother” or “mushroom,” metabolizes the sugars and produces various acids, enzymes, and probiotics during fermentation.

The fermentation process typically takes about a week or more, depending on various factors like temperature and desired flavor intensity. As the fermentation progresses, the kombucha transforms into a tangy, slightly effervescent drink with a characteristic acidic taste. Many people enjoy kombucha for its refreshing qualities, potential digestive benefits, and as a low-alcohol alternative to other fermented beverages.

Kombucha can be found in various flavors, as some brewers (braumeisters 😉) add fruit, herbs, or spices during the second fermentation to enhance the taste and create a wide or wild array of flavour profiles. It has gained popularity as a health drink, but it’s essential to note that the health claims associated with kombucha vary and thus should be taken with caution. As with any food or beverage, moderation is key.

So about my story, and why I claim to be a braumeister – Let’s begin…

Chapter 1: The Discovery and Beginnings
As I began my chemo treatment, I sought a new hobby to just make my world a wee tiny bit more of a brighter place. I’m not 100% sure why I decided on Kombucha brewing. I think the idea came from a random conversation Tony and I had. Then Mel mentioned wanting to start brewing kombucha. Because I’d heard about the numerous health benefits of kombucha, I decided to give it a try. Little did I know that this simple idea would soon become a passion.

Chapter 2: The Perfect Brew – Ceylon Tea and a Dash of Sugar
After some experimentation, I found that the key to the perfect kombucha brew lies in brewing it twice. A double brew! I tried a single brew a few times but the result was simply not pleasant to drink. Through trial and error I also realize it’s best to use Ceylon tea for the initial starter. I make about two liters of black tea in a glass or plastic container, and add a healthy helping of sugar -about a cup. This sets the foundation for a delightful tangy profile with a subtle hint of sweetness. Make sure to cover it with a breathable cloth cover. A dish towel is fine. I secure the dish towel with elastic rubber bands because, especially in summer, fruit flies gravitate to the fermenting kombucha.

Chapter 3: Enhancing the Flavor with Rooibos Tea
Once the initial brew has fermented for about a week, I transfer the brew to a glass growler and add the same amount of rooibos tea. I have two growlers that I bought on the West Coast when I visited two breweries – Darling Brewery and Yzer Bru. I think using the glass growler somehow also makes a difference. Previously I used a plastic container and it simply wasn’t fizzy. The fizz makes such a difference when drinking kombucha. The fizz and the tang. Also, the rooibos infusion adds a unique twist, elevating the flavor to a delightful combination of natural tang and sweetness. I tried adding fruit in summer. It was ok and I quite like some of the combinations, but the plain Ceylon/Rooibos combination remains my favourite.

Chapter 4: Overcoming Challenges – The First SCOBY
The journey wasn’t without its challenges. I vividly recall the struggle to grow my first SCOBY during the winter months. It was painfully slow. The cold weather significantly slowed down the process, but persistence prevailed, and now I have a thriving SCOBY collection.

Chapter 5: A Compost Dilemma 🤦🏾‍♀️
As my kombucha brewing journey progressed, I found myself facing a new predicament – what to do with the extra SCOBYS. In my eagerness to brew more batches, I ended up with more SCOBYS than I needed, and eventually, some of them end up in the compost. On that note – If anyone is in the Cape Town area and wants a SCOBY for you own kombucha brewing give me a shout.

So that’s it for now folks. My kombucha chronicles. Brewing kombucha has been a delightful culinary exploration for me. And a pleasant distraction during challenging times! Weirdly, completely oddly it provided a sense of purpose and joy. I hope that by sharing my experiences and the techniques I’ve learned, the art of kombucha brewing, others can share in the joy. Cheers to health, experimentation, thriving SCOBYS and kombucha fun ahead! 🍵✨

Sitting in the dark, loadshedding. Something South Africans know all too well

I asked ChatGPT to explain loadshedding:

Loadshedding is when the electricity company intentionally cuts off power to certain areas for a period of time. They do this because there isn’t enough electricity available to meet the demand from all the people using it. So they turn off the power in different areas at different times to balance things out.

The electricity company usually plans ahead and lets people know when and where the power cuts will happen, so they can prepare. Loadshedding can be inconvenient because it means you won’t have electricity for a while, which can affect things like using appliances, lights, or charging devices.

Loadshedding is done temporarily until the electricity supply and demand can be balanced better or improved. The aim is to find ways to generate more power and upgrade the infrastructure so that there is enough electricity for everyone without the need for power cuts.

Thank goodness for a fireplace and red wine. It surely makes loadshedding more bearable

I’m brimming with excitement this afternoon. Only one more sleep until I do my tenth Two Oceans Half Marathon, and with some luck, I’ll have a permanent “blue number” this time tomorrow. The seemingly elusive blue number is a loyalty number – for runners that have partaken in Oceans ten years or more, you become part of the blue number club. You keep that number forever and you receive a little bit of preferential treatment when you enter the race e.g. there’s a special queue at race registration for blue number holders, and a special seating area just for them 🤩

Just like the PhD was a goal, it’s been a goal of mine to get a blue number, ever since I spotted the seating area in 2012 and asked Jason (my brother) about it. He pointed out that we plebs were not worthy, but that sealed the deal for me. I had to have it. So I put in the work. Jason got his blue number in 2018, and I could feel it was so close ….so palpable in 2019. But then we know Covid struck and there was no Oceans in 2020 and 2021.

The reason why I said with luck is because I would have gotten my blue number last year had I not been injured. But que sera sera, here we are now, and we hope for the best (injury free run) tomorrow.

So running tomorrow as a cancer survivor, also following rehab of pubic symphysis dysfunction makes the goal sweeter because it was tougher than expected. And to add even more sweetness, via my oncologist…. The Best, the Most Amazing Dr Lizanne Langenhoven, I got to meet the Olympic Silver Medalist Elana Meyer – extraordinary phenomenal female runner

Lizanne sponsored myself and three other ladies with pink shirts and other goodies. She tasked one of her other patients, Adele Niemand, a SA netball player to get us matching kit. It is through Adele that we meet Elana at a private function in Stellenbosch on Thursday. What a treat.

So yes I’m ready. My feet are up in anticipation of tomorrow. I’m drinking water to hydrate, and I’ll take a nice relaxing bubble bath later. Clothes packed out. Come on Oceans, bring it. Ke nako. I’m ready 😁🏃🏾‍♀️

On April 11th last year, my doctor delivered the news. Just two weeks prior, I had gone for a mammogram, and a week before that, I had a biopsy. It was confirmed on a Monday morning – I had cancer. Now, a year later, I find myself feeling incredibly grateful. Despite the rough ride, there’s a sense of happiness bubbling beneath the surface, and I believe it’s for a few reasons.

Firstly, I’m done with my surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. A tremendous relief. The treatments were daunting and challenging, but they done!

Secondly, my hair is growing back. Curly and all different directions – I’m even starting to find my short boy’s cut kind of cute on some days.

Thirdly, I’m able to train again. Although I am surely not be as fast as I was in 2019/2020, I’m grateful to be active and training, especially compared to the days when I was undergoing chemo and lacked the energy to train. And….I’m preparing to run the Oceans Half marathon again! My last Two Oceans Half marathon was in 2019, and I’m looking forward to earning my permanent blue number, which was delayed due to the Covid-19 lockdown in 2020 and 2021, and my injury-related rehab in 2022.

And another reason might be that Finally, I’ve made peace with the miscarriage Tony and I experienced in 2021. Accepting the miscarriage was tougher for me than accepting the cancer for various reasons. I had always wanted to share the experience of raising a child with someone who lived in the same home as me. My minions are my entire world and still there was always a sense of something missing – not being able to share their milestones with someone significant in our lives, in the same house.

My family was always around and supportive, yet there were times when I closed the doors at night and it felt lonely.

When Tony and I found out about our little “chicken wing,” as we called her, we were overjoyed. Losing her was devastating, but now, almost two years later, I am finally at peace with it in a way I cannot fully explain. She will always be in my heart even though she never arrived in my arms. And it finally feels ok. I don’t feel guilty or sad that I will continue my life without her. That I will enjoy my life without her physically being with me. It’s enough that I got to spend those ten weeks carrying her in my body. And I feel immensely grateful for that, and the joy of being alive.

My eldest son Josh is thriving, now in his third year at film school, and my youngest child, Micaiah, is pursuing her passion as a first-year fine art student at Michaelis (UCT). My family, parents, siblings and in-laws are doing well, and my nephew Bailey brings so much joy into my life. Work is also keeping me busy, as I’m learning a lot in my new role, despite the challenges and frustrations. With ChatGPT on the scene, life feels exciting – there’s so much research to be done.

Life just feels right, and it doesn’t feel as difficult right now. It’s all cyclical, I know. But now is the only time that ever really matters. And now I am truly grateful. Maybe it’s because I’ve survived cancer, or maybe it’s something else. Possibly acceptance is the key to happiness? By that I mean accepting whatever one’s circumstances are at that particular moment? Whatever the reason, I’m not overly bothered to figure it out. It’s just so darn lekker to be high on life. So, here’s to my first Cancerversary – a celebration of life and gratitude 🥂🍾

PS…. before I go, here are some pictures from our family Easter – lunch at my Boetie’s place and a Paw Patrol themed Easter Egg hunt all centered around my nephew Bailey. What fun, what immense fun.

Gosh I love that phrase from one of my favourite movies… The King and I. I not only love that phrase, I love that movie.

There is soooooo much to report on since my last blog post.

So I’ll get right to it, but I’ll try to keep it short. REAL short.

Most important right now, is I am done with radiation therapy!!! Do I hear a whoop WHOOP for me 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾. Ok radiation isn’t as bad as the dreaded chemotherapy is but still. I had three weeks of treatment. I am Beyond grateful that it’s done.

While the radiation itself wasn’t bad, the side effects after radiation were quite hectic. I believe mine wasn’t as bad as what it could get, but even though mine wasn’t bad, two weeks after radiation some of the skin on my breast is still discoloured and some even peeled off. OUCH!

Then, another great adventure was Stardust. For Tony, Toni, Tones’es bday we went to Stardust Restaurant where your waiter/waitress is actually the entertainment too! Wow, what an amazing experience. Highly recommended. A little bit pricey but worth it. The singing was top top notch – excellent really – and food was really good 😋 yummylicious

Shortly after (few days after) I met up with Mel and Berty for an amazing Din Din (Dinner Club) experience at MoJO market. The last time we met up for dinner club was just before lockdown…. 16 March 2020 (the day Bailey was born!) to be precise. It was sooo good to hang out with them again. We have seen each other since, but not “as dinner club”. That highlights the importance of keeping one’s autonomy to me. I love Tony dearly, but let’s face it, we all need time with our friends to recalibrate from time to time.

Then, about three weekends ago, Tony and I pickled off to Gansbaai. It was a Christmas gift from him and what a lovely gift it was! We stayed at a place called Sea Staff Cliff and started the weekend with bubbles and chocolate.

Then we went exploring some caves and indulged in a bit of fine dining. I highly recommend The Blue Goose and Eileen’s Seafood Paradise. Delicious fare! Eileen’s is value for money, a cosy easy eatery. The Blue Goose is delicious food and it feels like a worthwhile treat.

The caves were really something else.

The week after that we went paragliding off Signal Hill

And the last week, was my cousin Michelle’s wedding. I danced so much that my feet hurt 💃🏾

And today was yet another significant event…. It was the first official ‘road race’ since my rehab and cancer treatment. It felt good to be back on the road, running in a race again.

Then I made delicious (eggless) corn fritters today. Can’t wait to trial them with Bailey and André. They were quite delicious- even if I must say so myself. And so easy to make. Only one cup of fresh corn kernels, half a cup of self raising flour, half a cup of corn flour and a third of a cup of desiccated coconut. Shallow pan fried in some sunflower oil with a splash of sesame oil.

And finally, my hair and eyebrows are back. I am beyond happy about that. I’m feeling good, feeling strong and self-confident again. Yes, it feels good to feel like Bronwyn again 😎

Happy 2023 everyone. My wish to you: May this year be whatever you want it to be for you 💖

I’m not sure what I want this year to be for me. I’ve been thinking a lot about a mediation I did a few years ago where I first visualized myself alone, then myself in my room, then in my house with others, then on my road with all the people that stay on the road, then in my suburb, then my city, then my province. Then everyone in South Africa, then everyone in Africa, and then everyone in the world. There are 8 billion of us. Whatever is going on in my life is important to me, but in the greater scheme, even though it is important, how significant is it really?

This reminds me of a quote from my favourite movie Casa Blanca when Rick says to Ilsa “I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you’ll understand that. Now, now. Here’s looking at you, kid.”

Thinking about life from this perspective helps keep me grounded and my ego in check. All I need to do is breathe and take one step after another. 2023 will do what 2023 wants to do for me.

I started slowly working again on Monday. Ouch, it’s difficult getting back into it, but I’ve made a start. I’ve also started with a sort of spiritual cleanse, and I’ll be following a sort of vegan diet (no meat, dairy, sugar, alcohol or processed food) for the next three weeks. It feels right. I expect nothing of this year, and I’ve set my only intention to just be present and show up for myself.

I was invited to a job interview at UCT, and I decided to respectfully decline. I need to catch up with everything else before I start anything new. Last year I just came limping in over the finish line. I would rather start slowly, but confidently this year.

Finally, I flipping shaved my head again! I was so bloody hung up (still am) on the fact that I lost my lovely long salt and pepper locks. As chemo was ending, I desperately tried growing them back again. My hair started growing but mostly on the back and side leaving me with a balder patch on top. And then my last remaining eyebrows and eyelashes fell off, and I realized I just looked plain ridiculous trying to hold onto straws. So I decided, bugger that, I’m shaving it all off again. I’ll keep on shaving until it grows back more evenly- if it ever does! And it felt good. It’s for sure not my ideal look, definitely not what I wanted, but I positively feel like I am more in control again. Yes, kids, nothing but a hill of beans 🫘