Long coloured goodbyes

Goodbyes cause me anxiety and stress. There’s a part of me that doesn’t even want to say hello to my most cherished ones if I know it’s going to lead to a heart-bruising goodbye.

lettinggo5_thumbBut feeling that way means that I am not living in the present – and living in the present is the only way to live, if happiness is your desire.

Still, I am human. I forget. And then I remember again.

Be present, be vulnerable they say, because vulnerability is not a weakness but it’s a measure of courage.  I guess. No, not I guess. It is true.

Who knows hey. Just settle down Bronwyn, says the inner voice. And it reminds me of what Matt Khan said….. “Whatever arises, Love thatJust love that. Even long coloured goodbyes. Yes, Love that.

 

 

Namaskar

🙏🏾 On this beautiful spring morning, one strong beating heart. I am part of this world.

No identity, no background narrative, no defining label.

Not a woman, not a mother, not a child, nor a sister. Not a partner. Not a friend. Not a teacher or a colleague. Not a student. Not a runner, surfer. Not a biker. Not a divorcée or anything else.

Nothing but essence. Just the awareness behind my emotions. Nothing more than the awareness behind my thoughts.

And that is enough.

I am enough.

Riddle me this…

What do an ostrich egg, a Casablanca DVD and a VannieKaap mug have in common?

IMG_8378

….they’re genuinely the most extremely thoughtful gifts anyone has gotten me in a very long time. Life is Sweet. Life is Beautiful. That same person told me life doesn’t stop for you if you need a moment, it goes on. True Story – yes indeed. I do however think if you just relax and go with it, once you get out of white water or the fog, there’ll be an ostrich egg waiting for you on the other side. Now how can anyone not be excited about that!

Dear Brain

Gosh, I’ll start by saying how grateful I am to you. Not only very grateful, I love you. You amaze me all the time with your ability to remember stuff that would seem impossible to remember. You do snapshot comparisons, you contrast and you detect similarities between issues so incredibly quickly. A master at logic you are. That is your function and you do it so very very well. I bow before you.

You have kept me safe. You have gotten me positions and jobs because people have seen how well you work. You are such a very important part of me. But Brain, my dear Brain, I honestly must tell you are a bit of a speed freak. And because you sometimes go so fast you mistakes. Not often, but sometimes when you make a mistake it’s a big one, sometimes with severe consequences.

But Brain, don’t feel bad. I’m not telling you this to upset you. We both know how important you are. I’m telling you this because I have some good news. The news is that you can take a break. You don’t have to work so hard all the time. You have a twin sister. Her name is Heart. She’s here to help you.

You and Heart both have the same intention. She also looks after me and I love her too just like I love you. She’s not as quick to react as you are but she is also very very good at her job. She is more sure of herself and more consistent than what you are, even though she allows you override her often – because she is not as insistent or loud as you are.

Heart is funny too, just like you are. After all, She’s your twin! She mirrors your personality but in a softer way. So don’t worry, she’ll keep us entertained with her antics too. Letting her take over is not a threat to us and don’t be deceived – she’s not a weak as she looks like.

Brain, tonight I can feel you are stressed. Again, the world has put lots of items on your to-do list plus there’s a lot of other things going on around us. But don’t worry Brain. I’m here tonight to tell you that it’s ok for you to let Heart take over for a while. It’s more than ok – because you my dear Brain actually are in need of a rest now. You’re going at 180km/hr now and our whole body is feeling it. We’re feeling a bit shaky and wobbly. You are exhausting us. Let’s give the wheel to your sister, Heart. You take a rest now.

Let’s not worry about sharing the power with her dear Brain. You won’t be completely gone, just in the background for now. And let’s trust her (Heart that is) especially when she says, it really doesn’t matter a darn stitch what is going on around outside of us. We know that you my dear Brain have been trying to control all the negative outside of us, to stop it from hurting us, but tonight she has a very valid point.

Screw the negative outside of us Brain. Hand the wheel over to her and let her stabilize us from the inside. Then no matter what negative is happening on the outside we can go on doing what we all, as whole want to, need to and are meant to do.

Take a rest. Let go. She’s got this.

 

Sunday night tunes…

Rosy and glowing after lovely weekend. A melange of friends, family and fun (little bit of training, fair amount of beer, lots of laughter, a spa treatment and just proper connected time with important peeps, a teeny bit of work too). Energised and ready to slay this week…. And ending it off with the perfect Sunday night tune to wind up my perfect weekend.

Happiness everyone….. Let’s rock this week

I am not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
Cause we don’t want your broken parts
I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars (not!)
Run away, they say
No one’ll love you as you are
But I won’t let them break me down to dust
I know that there’s a place for us
For we are glorious
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be, this is me
Look out ’cause here I come
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum
I’m not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh
Another round of bullets hits my skin
Well, fire away ’cause today, I won’t let the shame sink in
We are bursting through the barricades and
Reaching for the sun (we are warriors)
Yeah, that’s what we’ve become (yeah, that’s what we’ve become)
I won’t let them break me down to dust
I know that there’s a place for us
For we are glorious
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be, this is me
Look out ’cause here I come
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum
I’m not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh
This is me
and I know that I deserve your love
(Oh-oh-oh-oh) ’cause there’s nothing I’m not worthy of
(Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
This is brave, this is proof
This is who I’m meant to be, this is me
Look out ’cause here I come (look out ’cause here I come)
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum (marching on, marching, marching on)
I’m not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I’m gonna send a flood
Gonna drown them out
Oh Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh
This is me

 

Songwriters: Justin Paul / Benj Pasek
This Is Me lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

#RacismMustFall

I am a fallible human being and my opinions are just my opinions. I fully trust my heart though and this morning, both my heart and my mind are in coherence after I read this article on News24: https://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/dont-be-scared-of-the-land-debate-malema-tells-whites-20180728

This situation that the majority of ordinary South Africans are tolerating is not only nonsense but it is highly dangerous! I think it’s time we start collectively holding our leaders accountable.

Julius Malema is an outright racist. And he isn’t afraid because we are giving him permission to be a racist. So we are also accountable. Nothing good has ever come or will come from labeling people – and he does that all the time, to gain popularity from the majority vote. He constantly reminds us South Africans of our racial difference to gain popularity for his political cause and gain.

I ask myself what tangible good thing has Julius done for South Africa? Anything anyone? One little thing? I can’t think of anything.

He stirs, using racist arguments all the time. He is very intelligent and he is dangerous. He manipulates. He knows precisely what to say to get an emotional response and he uses this outcome (or support) to further his own objectives.

Good South Africans – do we really see parallel planes in what Julius wants to do for our country and what Madiba did? I don’t. I don’t see someone that wants to build our country or is genuinely interested in the wellbeing of all our people.

I see an angry, bitter and fiercely intelligent man who has a destructive agenda. I see someone who fuels division in the country along racial lines with hate speech under the guise of wanting to relieve the suffering of the people. I don’t see someone who really cares about the people. Anyone seen him visit an old age home or a school? Raise funds for cancer or aids research maybe? A bursary for an underprivileged kid maybe? Nada… He only cares about himself and his own political agenda. He is only interested in ‘getting back’ at the ANC for mistreating him. The media gives him airtime and then he uses the unhappiness of the unfairly treated majority to openly pick on the minority. Hey…. Wasn’t there a guy in Germany in the 1940s who did the same?….

Let’s not label each other by the colour of our skins. We’ve come through too much South Africans to allow anyone to trick us into believing that is ok again to be racist. It’s not ok. It will never be ok. In our history, there are thousands who sacrificed their lives or spent years in prison in the fight against racism – Thousands paid the price – let us not forget that. What is happening now is Julius has come in an is undermining all that sacrifice by telling people that racism is ok. It’s not really racism if it Black against White this time is it, no?

Let us not be blind and let us build. What are our values? What do we value? …. Equality? – yes. Education? – yes. Decent living conditions for all South Africans? – hell yes.

South Africans let us be mindful of this – mindful of what our good core values are and let us not allow any person to use us by impressing their personal agendas on us, thereby eroding our core values. We have a beautiful country and beautiful people of all different races in our country which is precisely what makes us beautiful. This is our strength. That is the South Africa I want for my children. Let’s say an unequivocal NO to hate.

#RacismMustFall