So during the week in passing conversation with my minions, we were joking about just what a bad mom I am. My youngest minion reminded me of the day that she had an open wound and I didn’t have Dettol (antiseptic) to clean it – so I used tequila to disinfect her wound.
Admittedly I pulled a couple of weird stunts like, that so every now and then my minions ‘pretend moan’ to each other about me – but I somehow get the idea that they secretly love having a ‘Bad Mom’.
Their dad is a whole lot more uptight and so when they are with me, they joke about how the roles should be reversed …since I am the ‘mom’ after-all. I have heard them telling their friends in a fake looking for sympathy kind of way about stuff I have done, have not done or have put them through.
These include:
- Me regularly threatening to sell them on eBay
- Having a planned ‘bunk school’ day with them as a reward for studying for their exams … Bribery is the key to successful parenting
- I taught them how to gamble by teaching them to play klawerjas – a trick taking card game. We would play poker chips if they ran out of pocket money, but they better than what I am – so I’m the one always running out of money
- Me forgetting it was my daughter’s sports day and went hiking up Lion’s Head. Just a few meters from summit my son sent me a picture of her crossing the finish line 🤦🏾♀️
- We went on a family trip to Knysna and I took them with me into a pub. (The context being the whole family went to the pub for a meal – but still they love telling their friends “Mom took us to the pub”)
- Every now and then I feed them two minute noodles for dinner (note: only when I know that my own mother isn’t coming to visit – because then I would be in trouble!). I personally skip dinner in lieu of work from time to time, and then I tell them to help themselves to two minute noodles if they can find any. They moan about it – but I know they secretly love it…. much rather prefer two minute noodles to veggies
- I got them up early one Sunday morning to take them to an artsy film at an indi cinema. As we were walking to the cinema my daughter was incessantly moaning about being forced to wake up so early. So my son says to her “Sister, be grateful that our mom is a bad mom – things could be worse, you could have been woken up early on a Sunday to go to church”
So I am a bad mom. I might be the worst mom. I send them to school with creased clothes and unbrushed hair – but I make sure their homework is done. In fact always I do homework and school projects with them.
I don’t care what my kids look like. I do care very much that I teach them how to love and look after themselves.
When I decided to have kids, it wasn’t the plan to raise them as a single mom, but plans change, and that’s just how life worked out for us. And you know what, that’s perfectly fine. My house is a frequently in a mess and my wallet is regularly empty, but my heart….. yes my heart is over the top brimming FULL.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the good moms and also to all my fellow bad moms out there 🌻🌹❤️
Bronwyn Swartz 