Something happened tonight. The best way that I think I can describe it is there has been a shift in my energy… an awakening.
I’ve been battling with an immensely challenging personal issue since the beginning of this year which was unlike anything I’ve experienced before. This situation had characteristics of previous experiences but nothing in the run up or any of my previous experiences were like it. It took me by complete surprise. In hindsight, every time I’ve said that before, admittedly there were always warning signs – but who wants to live your life like that?! Questioning the validity of everything? – certainly not I.
But be that as it may, what happened happened. And the only thing to do was (is) deal with it. And I have been trying, the best way that I know how. Little by little more of myself (my strengths and perceived flaws) were revealed to me…. and then tonight, after weeks of internal struggle, I realized something big, something that was staring me in the face all the while, but somehow I wasn’t ready to see it until I was Ready. And then it happened, my energy shifted.
Suddenly, I feel an immense sense of lightness and relief, and almost excitement or anticipation for the next stage of my life to begin. Even greater than that, a sense of gratitude- true gratitude that I can’t remember ever feeling before in my life! I’ve been conditioned to be grateful- growing up that was an all too familiar thing I was told ‘Bronwyn be grateful, there are plenty of children in Africa that don’t have what you do!’…. yes, true how could anyone ever argue with that!
But tonight my gratitude comes from a place deeper than that – a place I did not know existed in my heart.
With everything currently happening in the world right now, the world truly feels upside down. Since the beginning of the year in South Africa alone we’ve been plagued with rolling blackouts, violent student protests and now this COVID19 situation.
…I mean really now, instinctively one wants to reach for a bottle of tequila just to deal or to just get some reprieve or sleep. But tonight I can’t fall asleep for a very different unexpected reason. My heart is beating strong and faster, I’ve song in my head and it feels to me like I’m just radiating energy…. good energy, loving energy, kind energy.
Tonight I want to tell the world, “Don’t worry, it’s all gonna be just fine”