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Bronwyn Swartz

~ Standing on the Shoulders of Giants

Bronwyn Swartz

Category Archives: Funny

Tis the season… for removing tattoos?

23 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by Bronwyn Swartz in Funny, General, My Adventures

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Yeah so some of you smart peeps knew exactly what that previous post was about 🙂

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Yes indeed, it is a true reflection of my feelings, an open love letter to me, from me. So it may be good news for some, and more than probably scary news for others, but applications are still open!

If anyone is interested and more importantly, only if they believe they meet the application criteria, please do complete and application form below and email it to me by the 15th January.

 

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So on that festive note, feeling the overwhelming love in the air, tis the season for that after-all …it’s time for me to start prepping. The prep started yesterday already actually, when I defrosted the meat. Following a self-instituted tradition, I make “party packs” for that very special birthday we’re celebrating on Monday. It’s been a pretty cool happy ‘working’ holiday so far. Looking forward to the next few days spending time with friends and family. Will blog about some of the adventures we’ve been having as time allows in the new year.

The main subject of this blog however is the progress of my tattoo removal … ouch!

So, shortly after I discovered I was getting divorced I decided to get myself inked. A word of advice I can now share with anyone considering getting a tattoo is: Carefully select your tattoo artist. I say again: Carefully select your tattoo artist. I didn’t. Impulsively (as is my nature), I stomped into a pretty upmarket tattoo parlour (thinking the price I was paying would be an indicator of the quality of tattoo – NOT!), consulted on a design and then proceeded with having it done. Everything else was perfect – the person who consulted, a clean sterile environment – even their card machine worked fine! The big problem was the actual tattoo artist who did the work, was also going through a divorce. I casually mentioned that a divorce was the trigger for me wanting a tattoo. Unbeknown to me before the mention, was because of the mention, he felt the need to share his own horror divorce story as me as he worked. The result: An out-and-out “tronk tjappie“.

I paraded this thing for about 7 years before deciding bugger this, it’s seriously time to get it redone. Thing is though, I love my tattoo, what it means to me. The design is perfect – so I certainly didn’t want to change that, I only wanted to get it fixed. But it was just so badly done, the only way to get it fixed was to have most of the inked removed via laser treatment, then only have it redone. It was supposed to be a beautiful butterfly with the words “God Saves” except it looked like the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland smoking weed. After 6 laser treatments over a period of two years to date, see the before and after pics below. The last treatment was on Wednesday, so in the second picture (on the right), you can still see the site is slightly inflamed and I have a small blister… but it’s nothing as bad to what it looked after the first few treatments.

Before laser treatment
Before laser treatment
After the 6th laser treatment
After the 6th laser treatment

So another word of advice I can share is when you have a tattoo removed (or lightened because you want it redone, as I did), also: Carefully consider who does laser treatment for you. Again I thought I was doing the right thing by going to a specialist, a laser clinic that did laser treatments for cosmetic reasons. The problem was they didn’t specialise in tattoo removal per say, so the initial treatment was firstly too harsh (setting too high) and secondly they gave me some sort of clear bandage to put over it to protect the site. When I left the treatment rooms all looked and seemed fine, but a few days later when I had to remove the bandage I realised what a bad idea that was. Upon removal, it removed some of my skin too!

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The laser treatment itself is much more painful than getting inked. Getting inked, in my opinion felt like my skin being pinched a bit. It wasn’t painless, but it certainly wasn’t excruciating like laser treatment.

Laser treatment feels 10 times more painful,  a hot stabbing unrelenting needle.  Of course, you can’t move while it’s being done. When the lady offered me a pillow to clutch before she began, I remember thinking to myself “It can’t be that bad…can it?”  Yes my peeps it’s that bad! And I’ve told by health professionals that I have a high threshold for pain. I was 6cm dilated before I realised I was in labour about to give birth. This pain doesn’t compare to labour pains – it’s far worse! Another observation I have on laser treatment is a white frosting seems to form on the skin initially immediately after treatment. This is normal. When I did some research the best explanation I found is it’s a chemical reaction because of the ink in the skin and as a result of air that gets stuck under the skin.

Anyway, the time came to remove the plaster after that first treatment and then this is what it looked likeIMG_4131. Pretty raw and ugly and it was sore! You can see from the pic where patches of skin came off with the plaster. The recommended time in-between laser treatments is 6 weeks but I waited 8 weeks before approaching a different place to do the next treatment. In that recovery time the skin on top seemed to form scabs (I’m not sure how much of it was scab and how much of it was ink). The scabs fell off about 2 weeks later.

After scabs fell off
After scabs fell off
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It started looking normal-ish again about 8 weeks later and I decided to do to a tattoo artist with a laser treatment service. There they confirmed my skin had actually gotten hurt, but the laser therapist at No Regrets Tattoo Parlour explained the prognosis wasn’t all bad. The skin could heal itself if I just continued to treat it properly. She encouraged me to rub it frequently to encourage blood circulation in the area. She conceded I already had scar tissue explaining the skin naturally thickens if it’s gotten hurt. But consoled me with saying if I frequently stimulated that area with rubbing it the skin wouldn’t become hard and thick after successive treatments.  Although rubbing was uncomfortable, it’s the best way for the skin to heal.

I highly recommend No Regrets to everyone wanting to get inked or getting inked removed. Be that as it may, then next few treatments were similarly painful, but because the skin wasn’t covered with a plaster, blisters formed. No plaster did however mean I had to pay more attention to keeping the area clean but more important for me is it also means my skin wasn’t unnaturally torn when the plaster had to come off. Here are some pics of the next 3 treatments.

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Pretty yuck sight uh. As you can see, blistering was pretty hectic initially, but with each subsequent treatment the blistering afterwards wasn’t quite as bad.  IMG_4168 Also initially after treatment my ankle was swollen and inflamed – I guess one can equate it to intense sunburn? It was really difficult to sleep at night with that pain and for the first night or two I used to take pain killers. Another thing I discovered was Aloe Vera gel. That stuff is amazing – immediately soothes the burning sensation so in the first few days after treatment I regularly periodically and generously reapplied it as frequently as I could. Got some at Clicks for R100 and haven’t had to buy another even though I’ve just finished my 6th treatment. The expiry date is April 2018 – so hopefully all laser treatments will be done with this by then.

Treating the skin in-between treatments after blistering has dissipated also entails using a product. I used a combination of Bio-Oil tissue oil and a tattoo aftercare balm that I bought from No Regrets which also cost me about R100. The effort it takes to keep rubbing the tattoo to prevent scar tissue forming however far outweighs the price I’ve paid for any products.

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So gradually my tattoo got lighter. Looked like a smudge more than anything else, by June this year – I had stopped treatment for just over a year before I started again. Now, I can see (evident in the very first after-treatment picture above) the ink is almost completely gone. I have some scarring and some hyperpigmentation (dark colouration of the skin because of the scarring) but I’ll keep on treating that with Bio-Oil for a bit longer before I get inked again.

IMG_8254I think new ink will probably only happen mid next year or even later next year. I’m not in a rush though. I realise it’s much better to wait patiently for something you really want and get whatever it is that you actually desire, rather than rush and get something that you not happy with and have to re-do in any case! – which coincidentally is a very similar message to my other tattoo…

Will definitely post pics of my new ink next year once I have it done.

 

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Dear Santa…

14 Thursday Dec 2017

dear santa

Posted by Bronwyn Swartz | Filed under Funny, General, My Adventures

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A case for child protection services?

12 Sunday Nov 2017

Posted by Bronwyn Swartz in Family and Friends, Funny, General

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I’d like to tell you the story of our exciting adventure tonight…. the culinary kindđŸŽđŸœđŸ„—đŸ„„

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It started when I announced we’d be going vegan đŸŒ±Â for the evening. This announcement was greeted with a barrage of protests, accusations of child neglect, and a threat to report me to child protection services 😃. Gotta love my minions – I guess the saying is true, “the apple(s) don’t fall far from the tree”. Absolutely true viz Attitude^2!

Anyway, despite the protests we prepared dinner, and guess what…. Not too shabby hey. Heck, I think it looked quite amazing 😉

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And wait wait what?…. what is that?…. could it be? ….yes it might be – A smile detected 😁

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Indeed! It was tasty too. We might just do it again me thinks.

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Need help?

29 Friday Sep 2017

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Posted by Bronwyn Swartz | Filed under Family and Friends, Funny, General

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What would Margaret do?

04 Sunday Dec 2016

Posted by Bronwyn Swartz in Funny, My Adventures, Opinion Post

≈ 1 Comment

…So I have the coolest friends in the world – true story. I always knew this, but a recent antic I got up to solidly confirmed this for me.

See, very late one night I accidentally sent a picture of my knickers to a whatsapp chat group that I am part of. The trouble stemmed from a recent update of whatsapp. With the update, when sending a picture from an iPhone, you select the picture, then you select the recipients. The name of the person who I wanted to send the picture to was on top of the list and group chat name was immediately under the name of the intended recipient, because I had communicated with the group shortly before chatting to this person. I selected the intended name, but my finger trailed and I accidentally selected the group chat as well. It was a mistake. Anyone who saw the picture would immediately recognise that if it was not intended for them. I suspect at first it must have seemed like a random picture without knowing the context.

The really interesting thing is though, I am positively sure if a 4 year old saw the picture, the child would think nothing of it. Yet the older you are, a natural phenomenon is that one’s imagination becomes more vivid due to one’s experience. An older person would start trying to contextualise that picture.

So this picture in question was of a black pair of lacy knickers (looked like the shape of a figure of eight), lying on a tiled floor. In the bottom right corner of the picture you can see three toes and a quarter of someone’s foot – but it’s clearly not my foot due to the colour of the skin. In the bottom centre, a finger shaped object that looks like the arm of aimg_3055 chair. And that was all that was in the picture.

Not pornographic. Very suggestive…possibly, if you let your imagination go. If you are inclined to let your imagination go, like my dear friends are, you might describe it as erotic#7, as they did. I do see how “mistake picture” could make many people uncomfortable. Not everyone has as much confidence as I have. Heck, two years ago I posted a pic on Facebook wishing all my South African friends Happy Heritage Day. By my standards the picture on the right here, which is on Facebook, is more risquĂ© than the “mistake picture” on whatsapp – but again I guess it depends on each person’s comfort level.

Be that as it may, immediately after I sent the picture, and realized what happened, I regretted it. The horror struck me in the moments that immediately followed.  I was emotional and terribly upset. I could not retract the picture. It was meant to be sent to one person only, but all the people in the group chat got it as well. But what was done was done.

The next morning shock was still setting in. No one on group chat had responded to the picture in the whatsapp group except one person from the group messaged me personally. Her exact words was “Bronwyn! WTH, the picture on **** chat?”. I responded by saying “Sorry it was a mistake”. She did not reply. I felt really bad, but shortly after that my friends rallied around me.

Now my friends…they are incredibly honest. First they said “Oh Dear! What have you done?” Then two and a half seconds later they started laughing and chirping me about it. The following day, when I saw them the first thing they asked me was “So do you at least have your knickers on today?” They have a knack of making light of the gloomiest situations. One friend admitted her own thoughts. She said she thought “I’ve gotta be there for Bronz….. Let’s think…. What would Margaret do?” This comment had us in fits and tears of laughter. To get that joke, one needs to know the story of Margaret and Chris van Wyk who were in a very similar situation. They’re a married couple and Margaret thought she sent Chris an intimate picture of herself, but she actually sent it to a whatsapp group of school moms.

As we joked about it, I felt better and better. They teased me and asked 1001 inappropriate and ridiculous questions about the picture. They offered me first prize for being the village idiot and then told me their lives would be so terribly boring without my stunts. 48 hours from the moment picture was mistakenly sent, because we joked about it, my confidence started returning in a big way and stronger than before. I made the decision to “own my picture”. The advice one of them gave me was “Bronz strut it off”, and that’s what I’m doing

The reason why I think the way that I felt 48 hours after the event is significant, is because 24 hours after it I was probably at my lowest. For about 15 hours after I posted the picture, no one in the group chat said anything on the group. Then one person finally broke the ice with “Bronwyn!?” to which I replied “Oh dear, my bad. Sorry guys. Wasn’t meant for you”. That person replied with a thumbs up and I thought that was wonderful. It was a relief – case closed. However it was not case closed.

A mere 3 hours later, head person in the group chat left the group chat. Shortly after that the group chat administrator told everyone in the group that she would be removing everyone from the group and delete the group to remove unwanted media. Clearly this was a response to my picture. I feel that not only was it an overreaction which drew more attention to the picture, it also did not remove unwanted media. The only way to remove a picture from that was sent, mistakenly or otherwise, to someone’s mobile device is for that person to delete it from their device.

I guess they didn’t know that. I’m sure they know now, because whomever wanted the picture deleted from their mobiles would have had to do it manually. I am part of their new whatsapp group chat, but the entire chat of the old group is still on my mobile.

So this leads me to the interesting question that I have been pondering about since my own Margaret incident. My question is what liability do I have and what liability does anyone who accidentally received my picture have?

So I did a bit of quick reading. Please know I’m not a legal expert but reading a little more on Margaret’s case I found that News24 (2016:online) reported to have spoken to an associate attorney at Willem de Klerk Attorneys, Mr Hugo Homann about it. Mr. Homann said the people who shared the picture have some measure of liability. A second law expert they spoke to, Mr Ryan Ishmail from RC Ishmail Attorneys confirmed this saying if a person intentionally sends a photograph like Margaret unintentionally did, he or she could be charged with “flashing” under section 9 of the 2007 Criminal Law Amendment. I somehow don’t think a picture of my knickers constitutes flashing.

Mr Ishmail did however also state that the whatsapp group members could be charged with crimen injuria, which is unlawfully, intentionally and seriously impairing the dignity of another if they were to repost Margaret’s picture.

The Citizen (2016:online) confirms News24 (2016:online)’s report and stated that media experts they’ve consulted have said that the anyone who publicised her private photo would “definitely infringed her dignity 
 and her privacy”. Such individuals could face liability under the law. They added that would include anyone on social media who subsequently reposted it. They explained that the law makes it clear that if one republishes any statement or image that is slanderous, libellous or otherwise unconstitutional, one can still be held accountable for that, even though the publication of the content is second-hand.

Finally The Citizen (2016:online) reported that an expert they consulted from Shepstone & Wylie, Verlie Oozthuizen advised that in Margaret’s shoes, he would approach the police and lay a charge of crimen injuria “against the person who made the initial posting”. However, it would not necessarily stop there alone, as the thousands of people who subsequently reshared it could also face charges, though “down the chain [liability] becomes less and less strong”.

Very interesting indeed.

We staying in a changing society where the rules are grey and the lines are still blurred. We use our personal phones for work and other reasons. At many organisations, societies, schools and clubs people are expected to be part of communication groups – the predominant brand being whatsapp. Using a private devices for professional reasons exposes us to the real risk of unintentionally sending a message like I did.

It is not unusual to send someone a message by mistake. In most cases it’s unimportant and insignificant. But what happens if it is something more serious?

How clued up are we when it comes to dealing with such incidents? These will no doubt become more prevalent. I know that I know very little. Judging from their response to my mistake picture, the people who are in the chat group I’m part of know even less. And you?…….

References:

News24. 2016. Margharet van Wyk’s privacy was invaded – law expert (online) Available from: http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/margharet-van-wyks-privacy-was-invaded-law-expert-20160826 (Accessed 1 December 2016)

The Citizen. 2016. Margaret van Wyk goes out in public for first time (online) Available from: http://citizen.co.za/news/news-national/1267214/whatsapp-vagina-mom-goes-out-in-public-for-first-time/ (Accessed 1 December 2016).

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