And it didn’t just sting a bit. It stung like a Mo-Fo.
Eish, eina ja. Felt a little bit fragile and tender yesterday. Recoiled, but today I felt better. And I just started making corrections. Prof gave me feedback on my draft proposal. uuuhhrrr
For this blog to be an accurate reflection of the journey towards a doctoral degree, I think that I shouldn’t just tell the happy stories on the journey. I have to tell you that I was embarrassed and annoyed and wounded and then sad. But today I got up again, because gosh darn it, I wanna be a doctor.
Truth be told it probably wasn’t so bad. It looked a great deal better that what my M. Tech corrections looked like. I remember coming home on days when Andre Bester handed me the document that had came back from Prof Watkins. Those first few feedback sessions in the initial stages of writing the M, I remember looking at it and I felt like Prof Watkins thrashed me solid. The red marks with comment scrawled over my work. I remember feeling incompetent and worthless.
I pride myself being an independent woman so there are few occasions when I’ll admit that really, really wished I had a boyfriend to hold me and comfort me, but I have no absolutely problem telling that world, that on those days I DID wish I had someone to comfort me and tell me “chin up babe”.
Anyways luckily that’s way in the past. And because he blasted me, I graduated Cum Laude. Every time I got better, and I was determined to avoid those dastardly red marks. Today I adore Prof Watkins, My Prof, he pushed me to heights I didn’t think I’d realise. He moulded me, He gave me wings.
But now I work with my new Prof, Prof Moll. He isn’t brutal as Watkins. I am also looking forward to working with him. I’ve already said thank you to him for the feedback, although in my head I was thinking ‘huh?’. At least Prof Moll doesn’t use red pen. I know I have so much to learn from him. The time has come to be humble, put my head down and just do the necessary.